Who ate all the pies?

Posted on September 29, 2009 by bobpiper

So, the man who invented blogging is trying to get on the gravy train. He is bidding to replace the Tory MP for Braknell, Andrew MacKay, who was famously described as a “thieving toad” by constituents at a meeting called to discuss his expense claims.
Mention of gravy may not be entirely responsible, however, given Iain Dale’s attempt to shed several stone of ugly fat (and judging by his appearance on Sky News this morning the crash diet hasn’t been entirely succesful so far).
But looking at one of his chief rivals to become a millstone around the people MP for Bracknell, the Leader of Bracknell Council, a svelt waistline may not be at the forefront of the qualities being considered.
Anyway… Bracknell is going to have one of those stupid trendy primaries to select their candidate, and Dale is busy whipping up support for people to register to help him win. So, I’ve contacted a couple of old Labour members I know from University days who live in Easthampstead. There were 13,500 Labour voters in Bracknell at the last General election who are eligible to take part in this bunfight. I’m urging them to take part and see if we can’t have a bit of fun with Fat Boy Slim in Bracknell.

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12 Responses to Who ate all the pies?

  1. Paul says:
    September 29, 2009 at 10:42 am

    If you have friends going to the primary, perhaps one of them could ask Mr Dale how, as someone who’d presumably like to bring integrity and such like to parliament, he can explain the discrepancy between these two statements on his blog, written around two weeks apart.
    ‘I have several friends who suffer from depression from time to time. Life is often lived on the edge. They just don’t know when the black dog is going to strike. If our Prime Minister is indeed suffering in this way he deserves our compassion, not insults.’ (11 Sept)
    and:
    ‘The PM’s state of health is a legitimate matter for concern. Marr has heard the same rumours as the rest of us and clearly felt there was a possibility that the rumours might have some validity. Unfortunately the Prime Minister’s behaviour throughout the interview would have done nothing to dispel the rumours.’

    Reply
  2. newmania says:
    September 29, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    You are bad bad person Piper

    Reply
  3. jailhouselawyer says:
    September 29, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    Knock knock.
    “Who’s there?”
    “Iain Dale. The Tory party candidate for Bracknell”.
    “You’re not from around mate are you?”.
    “Actually, I’m very familiar with the Bracknell Services. I’ve visited it many times in my Audi sports car…”.
    Door slams in face!

    Reply
  4. Tom F says:
    September 29, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    I suspect that Cllr Bettison should be considered as a non-starter rather than as a chief rival.
    Who ate all the pies?
    A rather unkind heading don’t you think? I thought this kind of stuff disappeared ( or didn’t really exist it was just a slip of the e-mail) with Damian McBride.
    Bit of a pity really as it could be fun to play with other possible headlines.
    From Waste to Waist with my Anaerbolic Digestion
    Bettison jettisons waste and waist
    Perhaps the scariest thing is that if a town can have Paul (I’m 100 per cent confident that I have done nothing at all wrong) Bettison as Leader of the Council and Andrew (not sure where I live) MacKay as MP then I suspect that Iain Dale stands a pretty reasonable chance.

    Reply
  5. John says:
    September 29, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    God Almighty. Just what on earth have the people of Bracknell done to deserve that twat?
    Wasn’t getting trounced by the Lib Dem’s in Norfolk enough for him?
    There are few as duplicitous and smarmy as Dale. Actually, he should fit right in with the rest of the MP’s shouldn’t he? *sigh*

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  6. Robert says:
    September 29, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    Door slammed in face, do you think so…

    Reply
  7. Letters From A Tory says:
    September 30, 2009 at 9:25 am

    So much for rising above gutter politics. Trying to make an issue out of Iain’s physical size instead of his policies is just another example of how desperate Labour are getting – always playing the man, not the ball.

    Reply
  8. Bob Piper says:
    September 30, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Actually… he was the one that decided to make a public issue out of his excess fat. If you do that, it is fair game if other people comment on it. And for someone who writes on his blog…
    “There is some speculation that Gordon’s plan is, somewhat uncharacteristically, to borrow hundreds of billions of pounds of British taxpayers’ money in order to pay for several million doses of ‘Brown’ cells that can be injected into cancer sufferer’s blood streams to work alongside their naturally occurring red and white cells. As these Brown cells all contain a small picture of Gordon’s face, the sheer horror of seeing his face would lead to the immediate death of the cancer cells.”
    … to squeal like a stuck pig that other people are engaging in “gutter politics” and making an issue out of someone’s physical features is a bloody rich.
    Take the heat or get out of the kitchen!

    Reply
  9. Bob the Black Country Brummie says:
    September 30, 2009 at 10:25 am

    Bloody typical another two jobs MP I thought that was going to be stopped. Well it should be.

    Reply
  10. newmania says:
    September 30, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Well I like Iain and I really ought to disapprove …..*stifled chuckle*

    Reply
  11. iifabloke says:
    September 30, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    What’s the problem? It’s an ‘open’ primary – grassroots democracy. If Iain Dale can’t handle that he’s got no chance. But will Labout try it, with Tories and Lib Dems present? I wonder.

    Reply
  12. Bob Piper says:
    September 30, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    I hope not. I want Labour Party members to choose Labour Party candidates. As soon as you allow Lib Dems and Tories to choose the candidates you dilute the whole process. If I attended a Tory Party primary I would choose either the candidate least likely to win, or the one least like a Tory.

    Reply