Defying the Edgbaston drink ban – Part two

Posted on July 28, 2009 by bobpiper

nose-moustache-glasses.jpg
I’ve been pestered all day by the Third 4th Estate. Apparently my piece on breaking the Edgbaston drinks ban was picked up by the local press in the shape of The Birmingham Post & Mail and the Sunday Mercury (The Mercury are so bloody ignorant of the area they purport to serve that they think Sandwell is in Birmingham… who took the local out of local newspapers?) I did suggest to the Birmingham Mail reporter that he might want to try his hand reporting some real news but for some strange reason he only wanted to report this trivia.
Anyway, for the cricketing authorities who just want to rip people off with their own alcohol sales, and the ground sponsorship from drinks companies, to have the bloody hypocritical nerve to suggest I am encouraging binge drinking, they must be taking the pee somewhere.
Anyway, I’m getting support from some quarters…. Bob Piper – Cricket Hero (a headline to die for eh?)
So if you spot a shifty bugger wearing a false nose, glasses and moustache set trying to avoid getting his rucksack searched on Friday morning outside the cricket… that’s me folks!

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18 Responses to Defying the Edgbaston drink ban – Part two

  1. Adrian says:
    July 28, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    A Warwickshire spokesman said his comments were “disappointing”.
    Best line in that piece. No doubt disappointed that he’d lose a few customers for extortionate plonk.
    A spokesperson for charity Drinkaware said: “What’s the point in buying Ashes tickets if you don’t fully appreciate it because you’re drinking? And what if that crucial wicket that changes the destiny of the series falls while you’re at the bar or in the toilet?”
    The spokesman for Drink Aware could do with deploying some logic too. I guess the idea that non-alcoholic drinks would also necessitate visits to the bar & bog sailed straight over his sanctimonious head!
    Nice work Bob, I’m just surprised the E&S have passed up an opportunity to have a pop :)

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  2. dinkey says:
    July 28, 2009 at 10:10 pm

    Blimey Bob, where have you been all day (stuck in the loo from all that Moet you’ve been binge drinking) – have you only just caught on to all the media talk you’ve created around the Midlands?
    I just can’t wait for your tips for when England next play the West Indies at Edgbaston :)

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  3. Bob Piper says:
    July 28, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    Ade, they’re just late on the story. Running it tomorrow I think.

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  4. Mr. says:
    July 29, 2009 at 2:11 am

    Bob.
    “the Third Estate” meaning the press? Only on Planet Sandwell I fear.
    I’d take a bit more water with it if I was you old chap.
    Cheers!

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  5. Bob Piper says:
    July 29, 2009 at 7:57 am

    Quite right Mr. Jolly
    Corrected now, thanks,

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  6. Jackart says:
    July 29, 2009 at 8:11 am

    Are you sure you’re not a Libertarian in the closet?

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  7. Mick Davies says:
    July 29, 2009 at 8:13 am

    Terms of use no 6. Entry to the venue will be denied to persons carrying cans, bottles, refreshment bags, firearms, dangerous objects or any branded material.
    Which also implies that you cant take a bag with refreshments(food) into the ground?. What with paying £60 a day £3.10 for a pint of Guinness and £4.35 for a cornish pasty to have a bunch of blokes who are old enough to know better chanting Barmy Army all day and some morons attempting to ruin your enjoyment by starting bloody mexican waves every five minutes,they’re having a laugh. And I suppose if youre wearing anything which clashes with the sponsor I suppose you can be asked to undress. Just nip down to Worcester if you want to watch a bit of cricket. Lot more civilised.

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  8. Bob Piper says:
    July 29, 2009 at 9:33 am

    Mick… have you looked at the County Championship table lately? I’m very grateful for Worcester I can tell you.
    Lovely little ground though.
    Jackart, I know this is a concept you will struggle with, but socialists can believe in liberty too.

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  10. Jackart says:
    July 29, 2009 at 10:04 am

    Can they really? I thought they ate babies and dreamed of shipping the likes of me off to Siberia, or Coventry for ‘re-education’ ;-)
    Headingly vs the South Africans. There were 20 of us, painted green and dressed as hulks. We smuggled ‘hulk juice’ (lime juice and tequila) in big bottles of sprite and, remarkably got away with it!
    Your method is more civilised, I have to admit.

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  11. Ian McNee says:
    July 29, 2009 at 10:08 am

    I had to laugh at the quote from Drinkaware (whose aim is: “to change the UK’s drinking habits for the better”) in the Sunday Mercury: “what if that crucial wicket that changes the destiny of the series falls while you’re at the bar or in the toilet?” Errmm…so people with non-alcoholic drinks don’t have to pee? And if you’ve smuggled your own hooch into the ground what would you be doing at the over-priced bar??
    It’s worth taking a look at the list of funders of Drinkaware (http://www.drinkaware.co.uk/about-us/funders), I just wonder if all these booze companies get bigger margins selling to WCC than to the supermarkets. But only a cynical old leftie would make such an outrageous suggestion!

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  12. Eric The Fish says:
    July 29, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Priceless. Good to see the Post & Mail hasn’t improved much.
    One of the bugbears in these parts is overzealous stewarding of concerts where food, water etc are confiscated so you buy Pepsi/Coke/RollaCola at mortgage prices inside even if you are diabetic etc.
    Bit worried the airlines will cotton on to my patented liquid scam (take 2 bottles past the shower)and they’ll confiscate one.
    Just dress as a St John Ambulance volunteer and take a blood bag of CabSav.
    A ten gallon hat doesn’t hold 10 gallons but it’s a start.

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  13. Donny says:
    July 29, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    Boring drivel.

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  15. Steve says:
    July 30, 2009 at 11:38 am

    Bob, they have the same rule at the Riverside in Chester-le-Street for Test matches, but I have – I mean, I know of people who have – taken a bottle of wine or a couple of bottles of beer in a rucksack. I am pretty sure that the stewards saw them but just took a view that mild mannered middle class types weren’t likely to cause bother. I assume part of the reason is that they don’t want glass and metal containers around for obvious reasons, as well as wanting to flog their horrid yellow, brown or black ‘beer’.
    I’ve got tickets for Friday and Saturday – in the wheelchair section which all the pics in today’s papers show as being under water! And on the subject of money grabbing – the tickets are £20 for the wheelchair user and I as the helper get in free, so plenty of money left over for overpriced drinks and food :)

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  16. jailhouselawyer says:
    July 30, 2009 at 11:50 am

    Be careful that you don’t go down with wine flu…

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  18. Bob Piper says:
    August 26, 2009 at 11:34 am

    Money doesn’t talk… it swears

    Some of you regular readers may recall that I wrote a piece a few weeks ago advising people how to get round the drinks ban at Edgbaston Cricket Ground for the Test match. It received a typically po-faced response from,…

    Reply