Comic Cuts

Posted on July 31, 2008 by bobpiper

We’ve had days of ‘Plot to oust Brown’ by backbench Labour MPs… followed by days of ‘Plot to oust Brown’ by Cabinet members. This has been followed by the ‘Straw/Miliband/Harman/Uncle Tom Cobbly deny plot to oust Brown’ stories and then the ‘Miliband bid to oust Brown’ stories based on the fact that he wrote an article which didn’t say he was backing Brown (nor planning to fly to the moon). Now we are inundated with the ‘Furious Labour MPs round on Miliband’ articles, which perversely appear alongside stories in the same bloody newspapers sometimes, telling us that Brown is going to “sack Miliband”, “demote Miliband” or “promote Miliband” – they haven’t got around to the really sensational story yet which goes along the lines of “Brown to leave Miliband as Foreign Secretary – shock!”. But even when they do it will be an article from the pundits telling us that Miliband has only been left there because Brown is dithering about what to do with him.
Just work your way through the garbage here, here, here, here or here (yes, sadly, even Andy McSmith, a proper journalist, gets involved in the hysteria). And this is only the tip of the iceberg.
Of course, virtually none of this is attributed to anyone other than the entirely spurious “sources close to” who have, if you believe this crap, been very busy over the last week. You could write this rubbish sitting in your office in Wapping…or in a fine restaurant in Westminster, and frankly, I think that is exactly what some of these people are doing. I barely believe a word they write, and I suspect their editors don’t either. I wonder how many expense account lunches have been sanctioned over the last week or so as these people wine and dine and invent their stories?
As Jerry Seinfeld once said, Isn’t it amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

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19 Responses to Comic Cuts

  1. Fred Tourqwqwqw says:
    July 31, 2008 at 10:43 am

    Milliband seems a nice guy so far. But I am in no hurry to change the leader.

    Reply
  2. asquith says:
    July 31, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    I agree. The media are spouting total bollocks at all. I was disappointed to see similar comments on blogs…
    BTW, our mutual adversary John Hutton did possibly the only decent thing he has ever done:
    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/restaurant-customers-should-be-told-where-tips-go-minister-says-881385.html

    Reply
  3. Mickey Cool says:
    July 31, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    There does seem to be some mind games at work from people wanting to get rid of the PM they claim Ed Milliband and Douglas Alexander haved fallen out with the PM. Who then stated they had not.
    I think the media take the critics of the PM as fact too easily. Who ever is spinning against the PM is doing a very good job. And has to be shut up. I do not knopw if it is straw millibandites, blairites millburnites or harmintes who is it? I think prbaly blairites. But the media take the cirtics of the PM as fact.
    I think the PM wuill survive.

    Reply
  4. GW says:
    July 31, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Er, Since when has Marshall-Andrews calling a Labour MP “disloyal” had any credibility ?
    GW

    Reply
  5. Godzilla says:
    July 31, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    OH DEAR BOB!! After your mock outrage at the Tories allegedly fixing an on line poll. Labour couldnt be trying to fix one could they… ;)
    http://www.order-order.com/2008/07/whips-telephone-canvassing.html

    Reply
  6. mike says:
    July 31, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    Just watched Miliband on the BBC News, smiling, pointing and waving, it was Blair, it was bloody Blair come back to haunt us. If this prat becomes our new leader I’ll vote Tory for the first time, another Blair I am unable to stomach.

    Reply
  7. Bob Piper says:
    July 31, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    Godzilla, you just don’t get it do you.
    Firstly, we KNOW the Tories were doing it. We have the proof. All you have is the tory (surprise, surprise) Paul Staines telling you it is happening.
    Also, could I refer you to the answer I gave some days ago. Unlike you, I don’t condone dishonesty, so if Labour or any of its supporters get involved in this sort of crap, I have no hesitation in condemning it.
    Now, over to you, were the lying, fiddling tories in Devon wrong? Go on, do it, you can at least TRY to have some self-respect.

    Reply
  8. Earl of coolness says:
    July 31, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    Bob Marshal andrews is honest and a man of his word. When he is a rebel he says he is.

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  9. chaz says:
    July 31, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    Name me a more pompous pontificating prat than Marshall-Andrews.

    Reply
  10. Godzilla says:
    July 31, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    What I “get” is your fake outrage. .
    By the way, theres a great poll in the Telegraph tomorrow. Apparently noone in the cabinet is any better than Gordo and Blair is the only one who would do better. Gordo’s popularity rating plumbs new depths. And thats a poll you can be certain of.

    Reply
  11. Paul Sandars says:
    July 31, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    I think both Marshall-Andrews and Geraldine Smith need a little chat on the issue of loyalty.Maybe the whips will oblige in the autumn.
    I am saddened about Geraldine- a real down-to-earth hardworking backbencher. But Marshall- Andrews appears these days telling jokes on comedy quiz shows. Which makes him a comedian, in my book.

    Reply
  12. Bob Piper says:
    July 31, 2008 at 11:45 pm

    Yes, Godzilla… did you have to vote lots of times in that too?
    Only one poll counts you know, and you’ve lost 3 out of the last three!

    Reply
  13. Mr. Jolly says:
    August 1, 2008 at 12:42 am

    Yes Bob. Only one poll really counts. And out of the last ten, you’ve lost five. Tell you what, fancy a small wager on the outcome of the next one? Of course seeing as you are SO sure of the outcome of the next one, care to offer me odds of say, five to one? I’ll put up �100 on it, and in the event of the Labour party winning I’ll hand it over to you and you can pay it directly into Labour party funds as a donation. On the other hand, if the impossible happens and the electorate of the UK decides to turn its back on those awfully nice people who run the country at the moment, you pay me �500 and I give it as a donation to the evil toffs in the Conservative party. Now what could be fairer than that? I mean, you are convinced that Labour is going to win, aren’t you? Perhaps you are so convinced of a Labour victory you will offer me even longer odds? Anyway, there you go, a rock solid offer of a donation of �100 pounds to your favourite political party and at no risk to yourself. I can be contacted via the email address submitted with this form. Best wishes and looking forward to hearing from you.
    Mr. Jolly.
    BTW. No going back to the seventies – a Lib-Lab pact will not count as a Labour win.)

    Reply
  14. Godzilla says:
    August 1, 2008 at 7:50 am

    Didnt need to Bob, IF you wake up and smell the coffee, you will realise this Govt is absolutely loathed by the electorate.
    What I find immensely amusing about the poll is that none of the cabinet would do any better..oh dear. What goes around comes around.
    In about 2025. I will be throwing your comment back at you.

    Reply
  15. mike says:
    August 1, 2008 at 9:17 am

    Bob Piper said: Only one poll counts you know, and you’ve lost 3 out of the last three!
    Three out of four ain’t bad.

    Reply
  16. Bob Piper says:
    August 1, 2008 at 10:03 am

    I just knew that that 3 out of three would get them jumping… and they swallowed the bait, hook, line and sinker. Godzilla gets suckered every time, and just comes back with a ‘boo to you, too’ response.
    Mr Jolly… at least you attempt to attach something to your yah-booing, but point me to where I’ve said I’m convinced that Labour will win the next General Election….and I’ll hand the money over straight away. At the moment, I don’t think they will actually, but I thought the same when the Tories were 7 points clear in the opinion polls after the Iraq fiasco and 10 months away from a General Election. And if we went on opinion polls, Neil Kinnock was ahead of Major 2 DAYS before the ’92 election… but he never got the key to the door.
    Keep you powder dry, Jolly old son.

    Reply
  17. mike says:
    August 1, 2008 at 11:23 am

    Bob Piper said: I just knew that that 3 out of three would get them jumping.
    Oh no you didn’t, oh yes he did.

    Reply
  18. bill jones says:
    August 2, 2008 at 10:36 am

    Bob, you seem to be in as bit of trouble re that challenge of a bet on the outcome of the next election, but re your belief there will be NO change of leadership have a read of Polly Toynbee today in Guardian. Or is she writing just more ‘garbage’ and ‘crap’? I admire your staunch loyalty but the reality out there does seem to be changing rapidly.

    Reply
  19. Bob says:
    August 2, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    Bill, I don’t understand either of those two points.
    First, I’m not in any trouble as regards the bet. If, as I say, I don’t think Labour will win the next election outright, why would I take the bet… and so why am I ‘in a bit of trouble’?
    Secondly… what staunch loyalty? Perhaps you can show me who I am being loyal to, and where the evidence is?
    Yes, actually, I do think Toynbee is writing garbage… but there’s nothing new in that from the old SDP hackette.

    Reply