Bob Piper has been a Labour Councillor for the Abbey
Ward in Sandwell, West Midlands, for 10 years. He is a lifelong supporter of Aston Villa Football Club and a follower of Yorkshire County Cricket Club.
The views expressed here are mine in a personal capacity, not those of the Labour Party, Sandwell MBC, Aston Villa or Yorkshire County Cricket Club. Get it! Mine... just mine!
Promoted by Bob Piper of 115 Barclay Rd, B67 5JZ on behalf of the Labour Party, care of 39 Victoria Street London, SW1H 0HA . Hosted (printed) by Swaithe Internet Solutions who are not responsible for any of the contents of these posts.
Please note however, that The Labour Party is not responsible for the content of this website or individual posts as, unless specifically stated, I am writing solely in a personal and individual capacity.
Promoted by Bob Piper of 115 Barclay Rd, B67 5JZ on behalf of the Labour Party, care of 39 Victoria Street London, SW1H 0HA . Hosted (printed) by Swaithe Internet Solutions who are not responsible for any of the contents of these posts.
Please note however, that The Labour Party is not responsible for the content of this website or individual posts as, unless specifically stated, I am writing solely in a personal and individual capacity.
I'm going to the Test match next week at Edgbaston. If you like a bit of a tipple during the match, Edgbaston can be a bit of a nightmare on test match day, because they search everyone's bags on the way in and confiscate any alcohol at the gate or refuse you entry. It's not as if alcohol is banned or anything, it is just that Warwickshire County Cricket Club want you to splash out on buying their alcohol, which is OK if you want a bottle of Moet for about 50 notes, or pints of frozen Carling fizzy lager. A few years ago this draconian policy resulted in my mate Jinksy missing the whole morning session as he sat in the park over the road working his way through a dozen bottles of Leffe blonde (as I recall, he didn't see too much of the afternoon session either).
So, I'm going to let you in to a secret... but please keep it to yourselves. It is Councillor Bob Piper's foolproof method of smuggling a decent drink in to the Edgbaston Test match.
First, buy a 3 litre wine box.
Take the cardboard casing off, and put the silver foil container in the freezer until it is very, very cold, but not frozen. Then, before setting out, take the silver foil container and fold it neatly, so that the tap is not showing, and put it in a large tupperwear container.
Then, before putting the lid on, top off the whole lot with a tomato.
And there you have it, friends. Tuck it in to your rucksack or picnic hamper with a packet of crisps, an apple, a bottle of squash and a couple of glasses... and you should have plenty to sustain until at least the lunchtime session. And after that we crack open Chrissie's tea flask and enjoy a drop of fine guinness.
iifabloke said:
July 24, 2009 10:11 AM | permalink
Not now. You're nicked!
Ian McNee said:
July 24, 2009 12:02 PM | permalink
Really Bob, how can we as the toiling masses expect to seize state power and institute the socialist ecotopia if we can't even show proper respect to the product of the winemakers' labour? Or is it a Brummie thing to think it's OK to freeze a nice white wine??
I suggest a more civilised approach would be to fill a rucksack hydration bladder (cheapie 2l one here from Tesco: http://direct.tesco.com/q/R.203-6914.aspx but you can get 3l ones) and decant your chilled Pinot Grigio into that.
"Oh, that's my apple and passion fruit squash, don't want to dehydrate under the baking West Midlands sun *ahem*" As if we don't know that it's going to tip down!
The trick is not to use a blue topped Tupperware box as WMP will be issued photo-fits of this now.
Been to Edgbaston a few times when I used to live a few boundaries away from there.
I found Merlot in Ribena bottle was OK. Used to work on aeroplanes until the ridiculous liquid ban.
Enjoy the game.
12 bottles of Leffe? It wasn't Freddie was it?
Angry Voter said:
July 24, 2009 2:06 PM | permalink
This information from someone who is part a Labour party which is supposedly trying to ban binge drinking and fine people for having drink in public places and then causing affray. You are a ducking ( deliberately changed ) Hypocrite. Practise what you preach. Is it not possible to have a good day watching sport without having to drink alcohol? If not, you should get yourself to an AA meeting.
This is typical Labour thought, do as we sat not as we do, and is why you were so crushingly defeated in Norwich and only the swine flu will save Gordon Brown from holding the next general election, thats if he hasn't found another excuse to put off the election pass the deadline time.
Angry voter said:
July 24, 2009 2:19 PM | permalink
I would like it to be known that I have reported this irresponsible posting to the police and will also be mailing your council to report your lack of judgement for condoning and advising people on how to break the kerfew and thus breaking the law.
angry voter... is there a 'k' in nob, I've always wondered. But as I am sure how to spell idiot, perhaps I'll just use that.
It isn't against the law. It is against the money grabbing regulations of Warwickshire County Cricket Club and the ICC. You're not only angry, you are an angry humourless twonk. Please feel free to write to the police, the council, Pope Benedict and Barak Obama telling them I've called you a rude name.
By the way, I presume you mean curfew, which relates to people having to be confined to their homes during certain hours. I certainly wouldn't advise or condone someone behaving in this appalling manner.... so please correct your letter before you waste your stamp money.
Ian, Herc, Eric.... please be warned... Mr Angry will probably report you. I bet you feel suitably chastised now!
You've clearly not heard of the latest innovation from the 20-20 version of getting cheap booze into the ground.
This is modelled on Sri Lanka's Angelo Matthew's marvellously creative boundary fielding and involves throwing your bottles of booze up really high in the air from outside the ground, racing through the turnstiles and diving to catch them once you're in.
It's almost never successful, but as with 20-20 in general the sheer ridiculousness of it draws crowds. In addition, the fact that it hardly ever works means you never get to drink much, and that will keep Angry Voter happy, though he may then complain about the litter all over the floor. There's no pleasing some people when they're Angry
That's it, Cotterill. Call yourself an elected representative, eh? Well you're done for now. Angry voter almost certainly has a long list of people in the Bickerstaffe area to write to about your deliberate incitement to get people to breach the Treaty of Rome, UN resolutions, Papal Encyclicals, the Highway Code and the boy scouts code of honour. You're dead, you!
Bob never be afraid to blog things like this, if anything it shows that our local politicians are indeed funny and human, like us (not angry voter though, he/she/it is a kill joy)!
I loved this post... So if angry voter wants to be a hypocritical parasite then so be it... But Bob don't change or stop blogging over people like this!
I thought your blog post was actually really funny bob, this is the kind of advice I'd love to see on a daily basis from govt! i think certain "angry voters" take life too seriously
Thanks Adam, it wasn't meant to be that serious. It's not as if drink is banned inside Test Match venues. In fact, one look at the Barmy Army, or those blokes struggling back to their seats with half-a-dozen pints of lager on a tray, tells you that they positively encourage people to drink heavily... as long as they are squeezing a profit out of the punters.
I think it's really the ICC you should be attacking, not particularly Warwickshire - it's effectively an ICC worldwide ban. Lord's has an exclusion for historical and heritage reasons.
Anyway - 1. hydration bag (mentioned elsewhere), 2. using hypodermic needle "suck" 25% out of an orange juice carton, "inject" same amount of vodka and seal hole using glue (I've also seen the 100% approach replacing with white wine, but you get slightly orange flavoured and tinted wine). 3. using same needle, inject vodka into an orange (termed a jaffa special)
This year I have been experimenting with alcoribos - place a small number of haribos (jelly sweets) in a glass, microwave until a more liquid consistency, add vodka, pour into moulds (Aldi do some good ones) and allow to set. Take into ground mixed in with some normal sweets.
Next year, I'm going to try and make Bailey's chocolate eclairs or toffees.
July 24, 2009 10:11 AM | permalink
Not now. You're nicked!