OK, I came back from the Algarve on Good Friday for a purpose. Leaving a clear blue sky and temperatures in to the late 60's for a bitterly cold, snowcloud bound day in Birmingham, I was tempted to regret it.

Then things got worse... on the first day of a freezing cold bank holiday... our bloody central heating boiler went tits up!

Then things got worse still... I ventured out into the freezing cold (the wind chill factor meant it was even colder outside than it was in the house) to witness this complete and utter bleedin' shambles. Unbelievable. Totally sodding useless! Scott Carson... 10 million quid... don't spend it until you see the money Rafa!

The only crumb of comfort from the afternoon lay in the fact that we had shoved our nearest and dearest closer to the trap door. Bitter...Moi? You bet!