Bob Piper
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Charlie Brooker - Give the man a medal   » Permalink  |  TrackBack (0)

Charlie Brooker in The Guardian previews Portillo on Thatcher. Pure genius. It is...

a 90-minute journey into the crazy world of the Tory party, and mark my words, it's the most arousing programme you'll see this decade. If you're the sort of person who screws frogs, that is.

And assuming you are, then prepare to spoo yourself inside-out, because everyone in this show looks like a frog. Nigel Lawson's in it. So's Norman Lamont. And David Mellor. It's like a Toad of Toad Hall lookalike contest. Or a Spitting Image reunion. But mainly the former.

Just about the only interviewee who doesn't look like a frog is David Cameron, and he looks like Brian the Snail. Cameron pops up from time to time to peep away in his peepy little voice, playing a tune on his Fauntleroy git-whistle: otherwise it's old school Tory warthogs all the way.

And writing about Thatcher's other successors we get...

one no-hoper leader after another: John Major (ineffective comedy nerd), William Hague (cheery dot-eyed cueball), Iain Duncan Smith (solemn dot-eyed cueball), Michael Howard (schoolmaster)...

Ah, Michael Howard: now there's a prick. Even here, interviewed by a former colleague, he can't answer the simplest of questions without pausing for two minutes first, with an anxious grin fritzing round his chops like an android going wrong. Either he's choosing his words carefully or there's a live anchovy stuck up his arse that keeps tickling his G-spot.

Posted by bobpiper on February 23, 2008, 3:01 PM  |  view comments (7) or add another



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Gary Elsby said:
February 23, 2008 6:36 PM | permalink

Check Michael Gove out. Very spooky.He looks like a rat who hasn't paid his taxes! He appears to be on his guard, just in case a cat collector passes by. Very wierd.




The Tory Troll said:
February 24, 2008 9:59 AM | permalink

Just in case anyone missed it here is the link to Brooker's seminal attack on David Cameron.




newmania said:
February 25, 2008 11:46 AM | permalink

'None of history's truly historical figures has been a Tory,'

This is the only sentence I can find in this moronic look-mummy-I-did-a-poo level rant. . Thatcher , Churchill( for chrissake) , Disraeli and what about the Duke of Wellington without whose efforts we would be ruled by a continental Empire....( why did he bother ..I know I know).Furthermore every significant contribution to poltical thought for the last thirty years ....
I don`t object to this sort of thing at all since I could knock it off myself in five minutes I wonder how anyone gets paid for it ... The " Why don`t you all grown up" paper can no longer pontificate at anyone in this vein so perphaps its a good thing .




Bob Piper said:
February 25, 2008 12:06 PM | permalink

Except, newmania, you would have to find someone to translate your gibberish in to English before they would print it. I can see why you 'knock it off yourself' in 5 minutes - it'll make you blind if you persist though.

What on God's eath is that last sentence supposed to say? I mean, for heaven's sake, you couldn't even quote correctly the sentence you were trying so badly to be acerbic about.




Margaret on the Guillotine said:
February 25, 2008 7:41 PM | permalink

Tories look like frogs? And in the other link - they probably make amusing grunts when they're having sex?

Sounds like a pile of typical steaming middle-class "radical, man" shite to me. I bet he called his kids Cressida and Chlamydia, and lives in Hampstead, with a "simply marvellous little pad" in the Dordogne, and went on the strictly-intellectuals section of marches against the war to simper over Galloway.

If looking like a frog is enough to hate Tories for, then that's enough to hate smug Lib Dems for. Come on Bob, we expect more.




Robert said:
February 26, 2008 1:39 PM | permalink

But yet New Labour stated they were great leaders, Blair stated he was the person who got the good Fridays sorted out, did he.

The fact is New Labour has followed the teaching of Thatcher, Blair himself stated she was a great great women and great leader of her time. Personally I think she knocked us back fifty years, you might say like son like mother.




Bob Piper said:
February 26, 2008 1:46 PM | permalink

What? You mean as opposed to the bad Fridays? I've really no idea I'm afraid, I always liked Fridays.





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