It is a good idea in politics to try to cause a distraction when your opponents are looking to get a bit of good publicity themselves. It is the reverse side of the coin to 'a good day to bury bad news'. So, when Labour could be expected to get some healthy coverage over their new Leader (the 'Brown Bounce' as the media call it) the Conservative Party needed to try to deflect this with a bit of coverage of their own.

Of course, in order for this strategy to have maximum impact, it helps if the distraction you are creating doesn't in itself turn out to be a complete and utter bloody disaster. On 16th May, to no great surprise, this was announced. The following day the Tory deflection machine whirls into action. Two-brains is wheeled out to deliver a no-brainer howitzer at Tory activists sufficient to stir the pot and hit the headlines. Now this wasn't really a new announcement. The boy 'Dave' had said more or less the same, without any of two-brains' intellectualising, in January last year. However, the need to make 'the splash' meant that this time the story was beefed up real good, and even the Tory backwoodsmen started to pay attention. At this stage Dracula got in on the act. Then.... it all started to go wrong.

Dave, anxious to keep the pot boiling, felt obliged to publicly defend himself and turned on his own party members by describing them as being "delusional".... not always the most subtle way of describing the people who pay your wages. By now, the small bonfire designed to create a smokescreen, had turned into a raging forest fire, and even loyalists like Iain Dale were aware that it was turning into 'squeaky-bum' time. When Graham Brady, the Shadow Europe spokesperson decided to throw a little fuel on the fire, Cameron's crew cowardly briefed the media telling them he was going to get tough and sack him, thereby prompting his resignation.

By now it was clear the distraction idea was going badly wrong. Even ConservativeHome decided enough was enough and they should stop encouraging the backwoodsman to keep on savaging the Leader. 'Ozzy' Osborne was despatched to send out some ridiculous nonsense along the lines of he was the bastard son of Tony Blair and his rightful heir but another Tory frontbencher spoilt his party by coming out in favour of grammar schools and another Tory attention seeker, previously only famous for suggesting travellers should be burnt at the stake or some such rubbish, said she was 'upset'.

The mere thought of poor Ms. Dorries being distraught was obviously too much for Dave's trembling upper lip to withstand, and so he chose this moment to explain to the nation that he was only joshing with them all along, and everything was going to be alright after all.