Bob Piper has been a Labour Councillor for the Abbey
Ward in Sandwell, West Midlands, for 10 years. He is a lifelong supporter of Aston Villa Football Club and a follower of Yorkshire County Cricket Club.
The views expressed here are mine in a personal capacity, not those of the Labour Party, Sandwell MBC, Aston Villa or Yorkshire County Cricket Club. Get it! Mine... just mine!
Promoted by Bob Piper of 115 Barclay Rd, B67 5JZ on behalf of the Labour Party, care of 39 Victoria Street London, SW1H 0HA . Hosted (printed) by Swaithe Internet Solutions who are not responsible for any of the contents of these posts.
Please note however, that The Labour Party is not responsible for the content of this website or individual posts as, unless specifically stated, I am writing solely in a personal and individual capacity.
Promoted by Bob Piper of 115 Barclay Rd, B67 5JZ on behalf of the Labour Party, care of 39 Victoria Street London, SW1H 0HA . Hosted (printed) by Swaithe Internet Solutions who are not responsible for any of the contents of these posts.
Please note however, that The Labour Party is not responsible for the content of this website or individual posts as, unless specifically stated, I am writing solely in a personal and individual capacity.
Iain Dale is having a bit of fun by getting people to nominate their least favourite New Labour Cabinet Minister. So, I thought I would challenge people to think about who is the least effective SHADOW Cabinet member. Could it be this chap...?
What do you mean, you haven't got a bloody clue who he is! Why, it's.... errrm.... Philip Hammond. And what exactly does our Phil do, you ask? Well, he's supposed to be the Shadow Works & Pensions Secretary, that's what he is. Now, given all the ballyhoo about pensions in the last couple of years, you might have thought we could at least recognise our Phil, but frankly, I suspect he is a man who is not even a legend in his own home.
But don't despair, Phil... you could always be challenged for both anonymity and incompetence by.... this wee chappie.
No... it's not one of those hobbit things.... this is actually the Shadow Secretary of State for Northern Ireland. OK, is that a big enough clue for you? No... OK.... I'll tell you then. This is David Lidington I presume. I know, not much been going on in Ireland over the last few years. Only the most historic settlement in the history of the Province, but our David has kept his head down throughout it all and beavered away doing.... errrm.... precisely sod all as far as I can see. No wonder he can content himself with that slightly demented smile.
But there are others who sit around the boy Dave's Shadow Cabinet table, who, frankly, the average punter wouldn't know if he sat next to them on the Clapham omnibus. Go on then, name these three anonymous characters bidding to be in a Cameron Cabinet, and what you imagine they have been doing with their time in recent months:
Ok, I'm a saddo but I know the first one's a guy called Peter (?)I know he's David Milband's opposite number - I'd remember that bouffant anywhere!! As for the other two, I'm stumped. Is the woman Jackie Lait?
Imelda Marcos (not sure about that one - you don't have a photo of her shoes?) and
The last one's a toughie - it's either the guy who stood third on the right and two rows back from Brezhnev or its an artist's impression of what Morrisey will look like in ten years time.
I'm no great fan of John Reid, but I must say that David Davis does an even worse job at shadowing him, often trying to parrot him. The Dead parrot sketch springs to mind...
You'll be telling that some of these nonentities have jobs in the city next thing. Or went to Eton College?
Made the point over at Dale's that we can't do Tory Ministers of the past 10 years ... because their towering competence is so towering that they have lost three general elections on the bounce.
Mick Davies said:
May 24, 2007 11:41 AM | permalink
1. Australian Craig Johnson(Ex Liverpool)he of the adidas predator boot.
2. Mrs Rab Nesbitt she of the fish supper
3. The corpse of Reginald Bosanquet expired newsreader and heir to the cricketer who developed the googly or was it the bosie? or the chinaman? or the flipper ?or the one that goes on with the arm? you'll know Bob
Something tells me you're not treating this seriously (Craig Johnson's solicitors letter will follow shortly) although I see what you mean by the Mrs Nesbitt comparison. Come on, these are household names (like Andrex) and should be dominating the airwaves daily exposing what is supposed to be a government on its last legs.
No wonder today's ICM poll seems to show the Tory bubble to be about as strong as one of West Ham United's.
Mick Davies said:
May 24, 2007 2:02 PM | permalink
Bob,is it any wonder no one recgognises them,take a look at the Tory party website and look at the mugshots there. They dont even look like themselves,although the alluring Ms Gillan looks better, (rather than looking like she has had a good night out in the Waggon & Hosses).
Braxton hicks said:
May 24, 2007 2:36 PM | permalink
David Hasselhoff ? Ivy Tilsley and Mr Toad ?
Mick Davies said:
May 24, 2007 2:46 PM | permalink
Bob just run the photographs through my heritage.com. Ainsworth must be really faceless - no matches. Gill and Heald faired a little better.
Well done, Mick, but you're disqualified for cheating. The idea wasn't to search the web looking for these creeps... it was to test whether anyone could actually recognise them. Actually, I think Gillan looks like she's had a night out WITH a coach and 'osses (as Geoff Taylor famously one said.... "there ain't no 'h' in 'osses").
Ivy Tilsley's a good spot Braxton, shame about what happened to their Nicky.
Oh sorry, I totally missed the point, are we supposed to guess who they are. The first one is Gareth Hunt, the piggy in the middle is Ann Widdicombe, and the bloke at the other end is a young Harold Wilson minus the pipe and Gannex raincoat...
John, I know the boy 'Dave'is trying to cuddle up to Labour, but including the corpse of Harold wilson in his Shadow Cabinet is as daft as including PragueTory in a ghost cabinet.
Got me stumped BP but I'm 87% certain that none of them is Iain Dale (surely he must be in the shadow cabinet by now after all the time and effort he's put in?).
If any of the three were to be cast as an alien in Dr Who there'd be howls of protest from mum's whose children were too scared to get to sleep...
Iain Dale is having a bit of fun by getting people to nominate their least favourite New Labour Cabinet Minister. So, I thought I would challenge people to think about who is the least effective SHADOW Cabinet member. Could it be this chap...? 
But don't despair, Phil... you could always be challenged for both anonymity and incompetence by.... this wee chappie. 
May 23, 2007 11:21 PM | permalink
Ok, I'm a saddo but I know the first one's a guy called Peter (?)I know he's David Milband's opposite number - I'd remember that bouffant anywhere!! As for the other two, I'm stumped. Is the woman Jackie Lait?